~this is the sassy police. come out with your hands on your hips~

overstepping boundaries and tripping over thin air since 1990. if you can't handle me when i'm shitting off a motorway bridge, you don't deserve me when i'm nailing my tits to a shed. »ask me something
»selfie tag »bffl tag »follow me

(via zackisontumblr)

so many photos, so many snapchats, no apologies

as far as birthdays go, if you’re my best friend, i will photoshop you something ridiculous. isn’t nippletoes a lucky little bastard.

(freddy got fingered, basic instinct/the beaver, never-ending story, insidious, alien, the shining)




[reblog] [tagged: #bffl ]

(via clownprinceofarkham)

loveisadeathtrap replied to your photo

I hate you :(




[reblog] [tagged: #bffl ]

never thought i’d google that.

never thought i’d google that.




[reblog] [tagged: #bffl ]
"i’ll have to crop my forehead out""no no it’s fine we’ll just do this see look"

"i’ll have to crop my forehead out"
"no no it’s fine we’ll just do this see look"

Lucy: David, what does your poo smell like?
Captain: .......for god's sake.